This Modern Fuck Up
by trifangirls
Summary: What if Jace wasn't the cool kid? What if Clary was hiding something? What if they both were?
1. We Proudly Present

I felt it in the pit of my stomach. This dreadful, shaky feeling took over. And I knew. We were going to crash that day. I was scared. Heck I was really scared. I missed my friends, my family. But I had Clary. She was asleep next to me.

When we started to tip I already knew what I was going to do. I wouldn't wake her up. Because as much as I wanted her to hold me and say everything was alright, I would never put her through that helpless feeling. She deserved so much more than that. Instead I embraced my death. I embraced her death for her. I sat there, played our favourite album, cradled Clary in my arms, and said everything is ok.

I know. Not how you expected this to start. Well I didn't expect that was how it was going to end, so to save myself some of the pain, I put it at the beginning. All life comes from death anyway, so I don't care if you hate it.

Now before you continue this, I want to lay some ground rules. I will not just be here to tell you what happened, I am going to interact with you. I want you to remember that someone typed these words, and someone felt these feelings. Both of whom are me. I am condensing my life into one story for you. It's not for you to guess what happens, because you know, I die.


	2. Moving to New York

_They came closer, always approaching, never reaching, until now. Baring their disgusting yellow teeth, growling like dogs they pounced. All of a sudden I wasn't there. I knew that I was, but then I wasn't. I was an onlooker, staring at this monstrosity from afar. I could hear the muffled screams, smell the salty sweat that filled the air, see the pile of moving bodies, crushing a helpless little girl._

I woke up screaming, as I had done for the past month. I could hear Jon's bare footsteps as he raced to get to me. Slamming open my door I slowly move myself upright. He breathes a sigh of relief that I'm okay, and turns to leave.

Before my door closes my eyes are already closing, a side affect of my meds. It turns out that being brutally gang raped does something to your head. Who would have guessed?

I rolled out of bed as my alarm spasmed next to me. Throwing it onto my duvet, I drag myself to the bathroom, but I hit a wall, surprised at how poor my navigational skills are getting I look up, a try and guide my way around it. But it follows my movements, as I get more and more frustrated I hear a low chuckle, but it came from the wall.

Finally giving up I ram the wall as hard as I can, and finally it gives way, looking down at the mess of limbs in my hall, I yell at Jon 'Which one of your friends is the fucker lying on our floor, and why can't he move his fat ass?'

An extremely agitated Jon appeared in the doorway, and with a quick glance at the floor, he sighs, 'That is Jace, he is staying with us, he's new and because you are the Student Body President, he has to stay here until he has somewhere else to stay.'

'What about his parents? Did they hate him so fucking much that they abandoned him?' I shoot Jon a quizzical look. The boy, Jace, finally decided to say something at this point, 'Well no, they are at the 'dead' centre of town, if you know what I'm saying.' It was too early in the morning for people to be giving me stupid riddles, so I just looked over his shoulder at Jon, who just shrugged.

'Shame really, most people would be 'dying' of laughter, cause I'm just that 'dead' funny' he shot in a venomous tone. I was beginning to pick up a bit of a theme, and then it hit me. Oh god. His parents were dead, and here I was insulting them. I was more of a fucker than him.

Feeling sick, I just turned on my heels and sprinted to my bathroom. I didn't have the guts to make the queasy sensation in my stomach go away, so I just stared at my reflection and took in my horrified features.

Slowly making my way to my closet, I could hear Jon's conversation through the cracks in my door. 'I'm sorry about Clary, she can be very forward when it comes to strangers.' As usual Jon had to make apologys for me. 'No, don't worry about it. I've just had the craziest week, so this isn't that bad. I find it therapeutic to talk about my problems. I'm moving to New York cause I've got problems with my sleep.' Jace took in the shocked look on Jon's face and just backed away.

As we pulled into the school parking lot, I practically threw my seatbelt off as I hauled my nauseous body out of Clary's car. Running to the bushes, I emptied my stomach of all it's contents. I could hear Jon's chuckle as he climbed out the passenger seat, his eyes told all. Approaching me, he whispered 'Don't let her know, she'll kill you. For some reason she's proud of her driving skills.' Glad that no one else saw my little incident, I give Jon a weak smile as I stand and head to walk into Claverson High.

Now what I don't get is why people who hate kids so much decide to become teachers, janitors, receptionists, or anything in the educational sector of the workforce. I mean come on, we hate school already, and then teachers like fucking Mr Carstairs decide to make it a living hell hole. Just get a job at McDonald's. Anything so that you can get off my back about piano. I don't want to play in the Fall Concert, or the Spring Concert, and no I won't consider the Summer Concert. Just leave me alone. I'm not giving up my free time to play piano. Not happening.

I barely make it to lunch, and when that finally arrives I am dragging myself to the cafeteria, which causes Clarissa to break down into fits. I smirk, she just gave me an opportunity. I approach the Clarissa shaped mess on the floor when she stops spasming, and her emerald green eyes stare into mine. 'What _Red_ , do you like what you see?' That takes the smile off her face. By now the whole cafeteria is paying attention to us, steaming lunches forgotten. 'Actually yes, I love ehat you've done with your hair. How did you get it to come out of your nostrils?' That takes me back. Shocked at her reply and can barely pull my wits together before I blurt out the most inconsidered thing I've ever said. 'Maybe you should eat make up so you can be pretty on the inside, bitch.' I can hear footsteps behind me and before I can register what is happening Jon is turning me round and landing his fists in my face. 'Don't ever say anything like that to my sister again. I will break you.' And then it went black.

 _I can hear a baby crying. It's me. I stare blankly at my chubby hands and the toys surrounding me. I grab one and after a close inspection, I realise it's a Woody from Toy Story. Another boy snatches it from me, and I yell 'No!' Infuriated by this simple action I see big feet approach us, and a sweet voice says 'Now Sebastian Verlac, I know that you like to be Woody, you even make people call you that, but snatching isn't kind.' Then it hits me._

 **Hey Guys! I hope you like my new story. I get that you might not understand the first chapter, but soon all will become clear…**

 **Also shoutout to my friend Woody. If any of you bother to read this, Woody has a problem with his bones, the ache the whole time and it hurts a lot, he is literally my role model, cause he doesn't let it stop him. Like how recently I broke my fingers and couldn't I do my favourite subject, and the people in my class were complaining about having to do work when I didn't, it made me so sad I went home and cried, and then he found me hiding in the attic, and just sat with me till I was done. I love you so much for that. He was sitting in a really uncomfortable position, with bad bones for an hour. My mum got so mad at us for missing dinner and my brother is ignoring both of us, cause Woody is his best friend and he's a really protective brother so he's not happy about it. So my thanks go to Woody for a great time recently, and the music, and you know. This whole fanfic is dedicated to him, and his favourite band. That's how much I care about him.**

 **See ya around!**


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